Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

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I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I see through liars

As a teacher, what's the most inappropriate experience you've had with a student?

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Can anyone show a photo with a penis in their anus?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

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I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I can read

Why is Canada letting too many Indians in Canada?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

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I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

How can you maintain self-control?

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

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I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Why do people always talk about Ohio as it's a dangerous city?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Have you ever had your crush reject you, and then later you all dated and married?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

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I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have a reading level above third grade

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I can count

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I actually pay taxes

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t buy bullshit